The SysAdmin Price List:
Regular Prices:
- Calling me with a question --- $10
- Calling me with a stupid question -- $20
- Calling me with a stupid question you can't quite articulate - $30
- Implying I'm incompetant because I can't interpret your inarticulate problem description - $1000+punitive damages
- Calling me back with the same problem *after* I fix it once - $100
- Insisting that you're not breaking the software, the problem is on my end somehow - $200
- Asking me to walk over to your building to fix the problem - $5/step
- Asking me to drive to another town to fix your problem - $50/mile+gas
- If you interrupt me while I was trying to actually fix somebody else's problem - $45/hr
- If you try to hang around and get me to fix it now - $50/hr
- If you expect me to tell you how I fixed it - $60/hr
- If you've come to ask me why something isn't working that I'm currently working on - $70/hr
- If you're asking me to fix something I fixed for you yesterday - $75/hr
- Making me trek to your office to fix your problem then leaving immediately after hanging up the phone - $1500.00
- Self-diagnosing your problem and informing me what to do - $150.00
- Having me bail you out when you perform your own repairs I told you not to do - $300.00
- Explaining that you can't log in to some server because you don't have an account there - $10
- Each time you call and start out by saying "I was fooling around on my computer when ..." - $50 + $ 10 /hr to fix the problem + $ 30 /hr to clean up after you.
- Spending 30 minutes trying to figure out what your problem is, and another 5 explaining how to verify and fix it, only to hear you say... "So that's what the little box that popped up on my screen was telling me to do!" - $40
- Having to point out anything that's on the wall in a typeface larger than 18 points - $15
- If I wrote the sign - $45
"Hardware Problem" Prices:
- Figuring out you mean floppy drive when you say hard drive - $50.00
- Fixing your "broken" mouse with a mousepad - $25.00
- Fixing your "broken" optical mouse by taking off the post-it note someone has put on the bottom. - $50.00
- Fixing your "broken" ANYTHING with the power button - $250.00
- Fixing the "hung" systemby plugging the ethernet transciver back in - $375.00
- Visiting your old university and fixing the broken PC by plugging the monitor lead back in - $50
- Spilling coke on keyboard - $25 plus cost of keyboard
- Spilling coke on monitor - $50 plus cost of monitor
- Spilling coke on CPU - $200 plus cost of motherboard swap plus hourly rate of $150 per hour spent reinstalling the system
- Listening to your network troubles, suggesting that you check to see if you are plugged into the network jack, hearing yes, trying five other things, asking you to identify your plug type, listening to you drag furniture, and hearing a sheepish, "Oops. Nevermind." - $35 (including discount for polite apology)